1. You reason that a 90 percent chance of small craft warning really means there is a 10 percent chance of getting in an evening cruise.
2. Your spouse has to drag you out of bed at 7 in the morning for work, but you wake up at 4:30 am to get to the boat on weekends.
3. Someone says they’ve had a family tragedy and you think their boat broke down.
4. The family dog is bored with just hanging its head out of the car window.
5. You can feed more than a dozen people on a 12-inch barbecue.
6. You have considered becoming a teacher so that you can spend the whole summer on the boat.
7. You catch yourself giving the Boater’s Wave to the people on the freeway.
8. Your boat costs more than your first house.
9. You’ve got a gas powered blender in case the generator goes out.
10. The kids have named all the seals hanging out on the buoy by the Harbor Entrance.
11. There is at least one picture of your boat in your wallet.
12. You have more than 10 pairs of topsiders in the same color.
13. You have more Life Jackets than jackets.
14. Your idea for a honeymoon cruise is a weeklong circumnavigation of Catalina Island.
15. You can tie up the boat perfectly while blindfolded, but your Windsor knot is unruly.
16. The boat goes in for preventative checkups more often than you do.
17. Your entire leisure wardrobe consists of five Regal T-shirts, a pair of khaki shorts, and three Newport Boats hats.
18. You’ve got a tattoo of your boat somewhere.
19. You have that salt-water windblown hairdo on a Wednesday.
20. Boating has been a family tradition for years and you will pass it on to the next generation.
I went fishing this morning but after a short time, I ran out of worms. Then I saw a little crocodile with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the crocodile couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now, the dilemma was how to release the crocodile without being bitten. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back and he went limp. I released him in to the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There he was, the same crocodile. This time with two frogs in his mouth.
Life is good in the South.